Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Setback

183 on the scale today. Is this serious? Did I really eat that much over the weekend? Is the scale just fucking with me? Who knows, but I have my bag packed up and in the car so I can hit the gym after work. I had 3 holiday parties over the weekend so that might be a contributor. Just have to remember that a setback today doesn't mean I should throw up the white flag. I mean, if the US military had given up after every lost battle I probably wouldn't be speaking English today.

I'm not being very reckless lately either. Maybe I'm not making much of an effort. Maybe I'm just a little reckless by nature already? I mean, I do make choices that others don't usually make. I'm definitely more reckless that I used to be. I used to not be able to go anywhere by myself. I'd be afraid I wouldn't be able to find the place I was going or that I would miss the people I was going to meet up with. Now I'm fine heading out and even ok with being early and finding a place to hang before my friends arrive. I'm even ok with showing up to brand new events, like golf league or knitting, without knowing a single soul before I go. I feel that I still need to do more though, and I think that I sometimes am going to have to make my own opportunities rather than just taking the more reckless option of the two presented to me.

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