Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Blogging from my motherfucking phone... not gonna work...

So it seems I'm not very good at posting regularly. Maybe because work blocked blogger? Or at least the good bits? And I have so much to write about!

So I thought I might try to blog from my phone.  Not so much. Maybe I need an iPhone or something? IDK we'll try to just do it from home. And the whole complication of adding alcohol to the mix might make things more interesting. More confusing maybe, but definitely more interesting.

So I figured since I was losing weight (well, losing and then putting it back on and then losing it again) online maybe I should try dating online. And since I'm not quite sold on the idea I decided to go free and bottom of the barrel.  Yeah, you can figure it out on your own.  Maybe my profile sucks. Maybe it's that I don't care. Maybe my profile sucks because I don't care. Who knows. I feel like maybe all online dating profiles should be written by your ex, or at least your friends. I have no idea how to objectively describe myself, but I think that's ok because I'm pretty sure the porn addict who showers once a week isn't letting that secret go in his profile either.

Well, anyway, I did decide to meet up with someone tonight. Now I may be superficial, but should I try to work through that or should I just accept that for what I am and move on? Sometimes I try but then, maybe, I realize that maybe I'm not being quite superficial and it's just my instincts making excuses for why I'm not into someone. Like, ok, I'm not going to go out with a 5'6" guy. Ever. I'm 5'9" for Christ's sake. But I might be willing to date a 5'10" guy. Unless its a 5'10" guy who's totally into himself and cheap. Then my subconscious might make the excuse that he's too short because it can't come up with the exact reason why I shouldn't go out with this guy. And people think I'm being silly but really I'm just listening to my gut instinct and the only way my stupid conscious can reason it is "too short!!!!" Who knows. And seriously, when you are dating everyone and their mother wants to know why you aren't going out with someone again. Sometimes it's just easier to say they're just too short rather than trying to explain your guts instincts and face opposition.

Now at the same time I feel like I can be quite picky because I am seriously quite superior to other women my age. I'm smart, I can be loyal, I'm honest, and I can cook the shit out of some fucking food. Oh, and I say I'm single because I actually am. I think that puts me light years ahead of most single women my age. Add on the fact that I know that a light year is a measure of distance rather than time and it's quite unbelievable how awesome I am. Now I know, I could stand to lose 30 pounds but that's why weight watchers was invented. I don't see a comparable program for increasing intellect. Someone should really do it. Snooki could be the spokesperson.

So what, keep my pickiness and deal? Lower my standards so be disappointed? Is it wrong to hear a guy say "yes, separate checks" and then immediately pick up the cell to change his display name to "Do Not Answer"? When does it stop being I'm just being me and start being I'm being superficial/silly/defensive?

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